CentOnion

by McKenzie Snellgrove Any Centre student who has been anywhere near New Quad in the past few weeks has inevitably come in contact with the raspy and alarming voice emanating from the crosswalk signal. As soon as students press the button to cross, they are met with a grating “WAIT!” soon followed by a loud…

by Aelwen Iredale Attention, Centre Students! Over the weekend, a DPS golf cart was commandeered by a yet-to-be-identified, reckless individual. As a poor student attempted to cross the street from the freshman dorms, the thief—outrunning DPS—hit the student. Without waiting for the student to recover, the driver sped off, ending their theft in a hit-and-run….

by Connor Park “Bellarmine?….Yeah, it’s Milton…..Listen, we’ve got some issues down here….” You didn’t really expect to be able to use all those Flex Dollars, did you? To students, it was portrayed as a clerical error—a minor technical mishap that resulted in each of us blessed with enough “special little treat” money to fill Herrington…

by Linley Mueller The Centre Symphony Orchestra has just performed their last concert of the year! It was a great representation of the vast genres that are involved in the world of music. There was more variety in this concert than the average playlist, and the show was truly entertaining. The orchestra started off by…

by Hallie Gleeson It’s late at night, you’ve drained three Einstein coffees, and your eyes are blurry from staring at the blue light of your screen. The clock ticks closer to midnight. You feverishly add the finishing touches to your paper, and at last triumphantly put your finished document into Moodle. You click submit. The…

by Linley Mueller In the year of 2024, for the first time since 1803, there are two cicadas broods that are emerging to create one giant influx of cicadas. These are Broods XIX and XIII, coming together to produce a swarm of over a billion cicadas across the country. These specific cicadas are also going…

by Aelwen Iredale When is the perfect moment for a fire drill? Some schools run them during different class times, so people learn the correct protocol in the different places they may find themselves on campus. Others randomize it to keep people on guard. Logically, though, the perfect moment is when people assume it may…

by Hallie Gleeson For years, the campus tour guides have been pushing the administration’s agenda, despite but students’ demands for the truth to finally be told. These puppets for the admission office tell potential new Colonels that stepping on the seal before graduation will bring all sorts of awful luck: you’ll fail all your classes,…

by McKenzie Snellgrove and Linley Mueller It was a dark and hazy night in new quad… The silver moonlight shimmered on the concrete. Dew on the grass reflected the light from above. Then, a noise. Shoes on the hard steps that lead from Northside to Yerkes. Pale skin glimmering under the dim lamp post… Out…

Dear Abe:My roommate and I have had a tense relationship. Their habits are incredibly annoying to me and make it hard for me to live in our room. How would you recommend fixing this problem so that we don’t end the year on a bad note? Roommate dynamics can be difficult to manage for all…