by Aelwen Iredale
When is the perfect moment for a fire drill? Some schools run them during different class times, so people learn the correct protocol in the different places they may find themselves on campus. Others randomize it to keep people on guard. Logically, though, the perfect moment is when people assume it may be real. Real panic should be created to test people’s reactions to a fire.
Obviously, 11 PM fire drills are perfect! They follow this exact plan: induce panic. Make people jump when they are showering and the alarm goes off. Make them fumble to put on some semblance of clothing while fearing the flames coming towards the bathroom. Shock people out of bed, knock them back into the land of the living, send them bolting towards the door.
It is absolutely necessary to send peoples’ heart rate through the roof. Anxiety is a must for a fire drill, after all. How else are you supposed to get an accurate gauge of people’s preparedness in the case of a fire? If they expect it, they will dawdle and will not be ready for a real emergency. Really, there is no other way to ensure students are ready for a fire than giving them anxiety. The fire drills must be during quiet hours in the night. They are the perfect time to catch students off guard; they will experience the anxiety of running for their lives.
In fact, since the 11 o’clock alarm was such a success, Centre should hold the fire drills even later. 12 AM? Surprising. 1 AM? Unexpected. 2 AM? Shocking. 3 AM? Panic inducing! All of these are perfectly reasonable times for a fire alarm. Additionally, on a Friday or Saturday night, the drill could coincide with a frat party! Nothing like the blare of an alarm to mix with the bass of clubbing music to cause dissonant mayhem. An alarm then would truly cause a stir and get people’s minds racing. After all, people need to know a fire could spark at any time.
Students need to be kept on their toes—all hours of the day and night. That is why Centre will be continuing these unexpected alarms. DPS knows that public safety can only be upheld by scaring students into line.