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CentOnion

Featured News

  • CentOnion: Cowan’s Meaty Monotony

    BY JAKE MCGUIRK – STAFF WRITER Far more important than newly tenured faculty, a rapidly growing student body, a presidential election, or an ever-heightening conflict in the Middle East is this pressing question: what food will we get to shove in our mouths today? There’s no doubt about it; no single topic dominates conversation at…

  • BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR Centre administrators declared the college in a state of emergency this past Thursday in the face of the institution’s heating and cooling system achieving self-awareness. After weeks of negotiating with the system’s interface, facilities management staff have been unable to debug the program from sporadically switching from heat to…

  • BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR Amid criticism and outrage, Centre College’s Director of the Department of Public Safety Gary Bugg has reiterated his strong disapproval of accepting surplus military grade weaponry from the Danville Police Department (DPD). “It’s a horrible idea,” Bugg said, shoving an M-16A4 off of his desk while making room for…

  • Militant Social Justice Warrior Spends Fabulous Day at Keeneland Racecourse

    BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR As is custom during the fall and spring semesters at Centre College, students make the trek to Keeneland Racecourse in Lexington, the unwanted stepsister of the world famous Kentucky Churchill Downs. Though never quite warm enough, weekends at Keeneland become the battleground for students displaying the wealth they desperately…

  • BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR Citing glorious days of untold vandalism, flame runs, and endemic stench, Centre College graduate and veteran of Nevin Hall William Withers was outraged this homecoming weekend to find the building he once called home inhabited by men and women alike. “I’m livid,” the 1981 graduate said, after shot-gunning his…

  • First-Year Students Tremble in Fear as President Roush Stares into Their Souls

    BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS EDITOR The beginning of the school year is always an emotional time for students of Centre College, a small liberal arts institution in Danville, Kentucky. A time of reunion, regrouping, and reinvigoration, August at Centre also sees the induction of a new class, and every year that class is treated…

  • BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR The college community of Centre College in Danville, Kentucky is reeling from recent allegations of their school newspaper publishing articles that are “purely fictional and does not necessarily reflect views of the [newspaper] or Centre College.” The College’s newspaper, The Cento, began a new recurring feature this year…

  • CentOnion: Student Life Office Announces the End of ‘No-Bake Wednesdays’

    BY GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR In a stunning decision by the Centre College Student Life Office (SLO), the College administration announced plans to end the beloved ‘No-Bake Wednesday’ tradition so many students adore. The decision was communicated via a campus wide email to the student body last Thursday, stating that while the administration…

  • By GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR In a stunning new historical development, Centre College administrative experts have determined, independent of the modern academic community, that the sixteenth president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, was conceived on what are now the footsteps of Old Centre. President Lincoln, known for his leadership during the American…

  • By GRAY WHITSETT – OPINIONS SECTION EDITOR Centre College has long set the standard across the country for study abroad programs. From China to England, students who attend the small liberal arts college in central Kentucky can choose between eight different semester abroad programs that provide travelers with a university experience like no other in…

Latest News

The Disabled Experience at Centre College
by The Student Association for Social Justice and Equity (SASJE) Disabled students …
The Year in Retrospective
by Daniel Covington and Abigail Rollins Looking back on another great but …
Is Student Activism a Thing at Centre?
by Duffy Oakley All across the country this year, college campuses have …
Summer Term: Perspectives and Facts
by Connor Parks and Soren Ryan-Jensen With the rollout of the 2024 …
All You Need To Know About Title IX
by Soren Ryan-Jensen There are many offices on campus, but the Title …