Nominating DeVos: Choosing Stagnation over Education

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BY LANEY TAYLOR — STAFF WRITER If you rely on financial aid to attend Centre, the confirmation of Betsy Devos should trouble you. If you are a survivor of sexual assault, Betsy DeVos should worry you. If you are a student in America, Betsy DeVos should terrify you. Betsy DeVos’ confirmation will go down in…

Casualties of the Bowling Green Massacre

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BY COLLEEN COYLE – STAFF WRITER Kellyanne Conway has a knack for performing interview gymnastics, twisting away from direct answers, spinning around tough questions, and sometimes improvising when she considers it necessary. Simply watch a video of Ms. Conway on any major cable news network and you can’t help but admire her verbal agility, as…

Have You Heard About the Emails?

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BY JAKE MCGUIRK – STAFF WRITER As if the country had not had a big enough dose of reality television from the meteoric ascendance of Donald Trump, the FBI further fueled Hillary Clinton’s email “scandal” days before the election. Yet the news did not reach the public directly from Director James Comey, but rather via…

What’s Happening in Utah? Talking About McMullin and Mormons

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BY COLLEEN COYLE – STAFF WRITER Throughout the contentious election season of 2016, many Americans felt as if they had no other choice than Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. Citizens of Utah were no different in their dislike of the two major candidates, if anything there was a stronger dislike in Utah for both candidates…

CentOnion: Centre College President Shocked To Hear Not Everyone Enjoys Emojis

BY: BRENNEN AMONETT – STAFF WRITER In an astonishing wave of electronic critique, students, faculty, and alumni of Centre College have banded together to oppose President John A. Roush’s horrifying use of emoticons in emails and posts on the college’s Facebook page. In an email addressed to the student body last Wednesday, President Roush addressed…

CentOnion: DPS Opens Investigation into Centre Student’s Email Account

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BY: BRENNEN AMONETT – STAFF WRITER The Department of Public Safety (DPS) has opened an investigation into first-year student Hope Carter’s controversial use of the ‘reply all’ button on a school-wide email. In a letter written to the Centre College Board of Trustees on Friday, Director of Public Safety Kevin Milby noted that “The use…

How “Making America Great Again” Could Make Trump Less Wealthy

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BY RACHAEL BLANDAU – OPINIONS EDITOR In September, Donald Trump committed a campaign sin: he punked the media. With an announcement that Trump would be having a news conference to divulge “big news,” the media watched an empty podium for an hour as the candidate arrived late for his press conference. Then, when he finally…

CentOnion: Centre to Host 2016 Vice Presidential Cage Brawl

BY BRENNEN AMONETT – STAFF WRITER The Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) revealed a new partnership with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) today, announcing the first ever Vice Presidential Fight-to-the-Death Cage Brawl. This event is set to take place at Centre College on October 13th, 2016, and will be the fourth of now five general election…

Girls Can Throw Parties, Too

BY THE EDITORIAL BOARD As with many colleges, a staple of Centre’s student culture is the frat party; nearly every weekend, any number of the school’s six fraternities will open their houses to the student body for a night of themed outfits, blaring music, and dancing away the stresses of the week. Banners hung in…

Kentucky Kernel Scandal: A University’s Failure

BY JAKE MCGUIRK – STAFF WRITER A University of Kentucky professor resigned recently over his involvement in a case of sexual harassment. In response, the college conducted an internal investigation and reached a deal in February with the accused, James Harwood, allowing him to resign and receive pay and benefits through August 31. The Kentucky…